My Shy Girl is Blossoming into a Social Butterfly

My little Em was a really shy girl.  She was getting sent out of her Sunday school class because she was so freaked out.  That's when I knew I had to help her along.  We started being far more active and social.  I signed her up for dance class, made sure we went to church every Sunday (even if they were going to kick her out), we signed up for MOPS so she would be around other kids and I could show her by example how to socialize, and started going to Story time on a more regular basis. 

It took a few weeks of crying when I dropped her off at dance, hiding under the table in Sunday school, and sitting on my lap at story time, but 6 weeks later she has changed.  She has become so social on easy going around others.  When I take her to church we don't even get a goodbye before she runs into the class, at story time she is sitting with the other kids singing and listening, and at dance class she is dancing! 

It is not even just those area's that her social skills have changed.  Yesterday at her eye doctor's appointment, she walked up to another girl and said hi!  She was never the initiator before.  She has been more loving to others besides me: grandparents, daddy, cousins, and other friends all have noticed how she is more accepting of their help and even showing off all her new dance skills. 
This was a struggle to get her here, but I will reveal my tips tomorrow!

Tantrums

Will is now getting quite stubborn and the older he gets the more he understands how to get what he wants.  He is now getting into the tantrum stage.  Yikes!  That make two kids throwing tantrums, which also means it's quiet .  Tantrums are frustrating for parents and can also be quite embarrassing.  It is the worst feeling to be in the middle of a store with a child screaming away while you try your best to diffuse the situation among peoples judgmental stares.  Although I have been here before with the queen of tantrums herself, Emily, it's always different with another child.  They react differently to discipline and so require different tactics.  This got me thinking about ways to tame tantrums.  Here are the best ways I found to tame tantrums:

1.  Find your child's tantrum triggers.  This could be kids throwing tantrums at the store- maybe its because they are hungry or tired.  For Will it is Emily taking his toys but he is also tired so his reaction is overstated and it becomes a tantrum.  When you understand your kids triggers you can work around them somewhat.  Take a snack with you to the store or go after naps.

2. Try to distract them before the tantrum gets out of control. My friend Erin always avoided big meltdowns with Izzy by acting ridiculously silly and making Iz laugh.  Erin is the best at acting silly in public without being embarrassed.  I really look up to her in that aspect.  So she will start singing, dancing and being silly, making Iz laugh and totally forget what made her mad in the first place.

3.  Ignore your screaming kiddo and just go about your business.  Although it might not help immediately, ignoring tantrums might decrease them all together in the long run.  They will eventually realize that theirirritating screaming isn't getting them their way, they just might stop.  Maybe, just maybe it may work.  If you can ignore it, you are a great woman.

4.  Offer your strong willed one some choices.  This worked for Em often because she always wanted something but would have a hard time communicating what she wanted.  This way I could give her options and could keep the tantrums to a minimum.  The only problem was that she sometimes didn't care about my two options, she had her own idea altogether.

Dont forget this time in your kids life is short lived.  They will grow out of the major meltdowns and learn to better communicate their wants and needs. 

Mommy's Babies

Both my little clingers are going through a mommy stage, where they can do nothing but melt themselves onto my side.  I feel as though I have grown a couple extra heavy appendages.  I cannot say I hate it because I secretly love that they adore me more than Andy (shh... don't tell).  Will is very attached right now, throwing tantrums if I even put him down half the time.  It's so sweet, but he's a bit of a porker so my pathetic little arms cannot carry him around all day long.  Then I have Em.  Who, at 3 years old, still loves to be carried around and constantly wants to sit on my lap. 

I am starting to get a little frustrated at them both being so clingy all at once.  Can't they take turns going through these stages?  Then I could feel the love all year round! 

As the toddler stage starts, kids become more aware of you absence and can more easily express their desires to have you closer.  This can also be brought on by new stressors like new child care situations or immediate stressors, such as, a party with a lot of people.

During the preschool age these stages of clinginess are also brought on by stressors.  These stresses bring on a regression into baby like behaviors.  New babies, different child care, school and changes in the home are all stress triggers for kids. 

What can we do for our children to ease them through their stress?

Comfort them in their new situation and be patient.  Try to minimize other potential stresses.  Make goodbyes quick and easy.  They will eventually get used to the new stress but until then just take more time with them and ease them through the transition. 

I know what stress both my kids are feeling.  They will just have to get used to it in their own time.  Meanwhile, I will be trying to stay positive with all the extra love and attention I will have to endure.  Oh life is so hard.